
It’s that time of year again…holiday season is upon us.
The holidays offer plenty of reasons to celebrate—making new memories, indulging in yummy treats and a chance to observe family traditions. For some, the holidays also come with plenty of reasons to be stressed out and anxious—finding enough time to finish shopping, preparing the meal and, of course, stress from family.
Especially for parents of little ones, experiencing unnecessary stress from family can be all too common. For most, it begins way before the holiday season even begins, because they know that they will once again have to deal with the gift-giving “madness.”
It seems like many parents deal with being on the receiving end of loud gifts that cause many headaches; large presents that barely fit inside the home; cheaply-made unnecessary gifts; or, even worse, an overabundance of gifts.
But, what do you do when you don’t want to hurt your parents, the in-law’s, aunts, uncles, etc., feelings? Or what do you do if your spouse doesn’t want involved and it’s their side of the family? How do you respond when a gift is given and you have to return it, throw it away or donate it and then they come back and ask where is the gift? What’s a graceful way of saying “I’m the mommy and I want what’s best for my kid.”
For some families, the issue is resolved with just a simple conversation explaining boundaries and stating gift wishes. But, for other families, it doesn’t end with just a short chitchat. Some grandparents or family members like to push their limits—because they think they can. But, what they don’t realize that by crossing the line and breaking the parents’ wishes, they could potentially be causing more harm than good. Because, many people today feel that we are raising the next generation of kids who will be overindulgent, and will think that they won’t have to work for what they want because it will just be handed to them.
Of course, there are several great alternatives to avoid this chaos. Many families participate in drawing names from a hat that way everyone gets one gift; using the money that would have been spent on gifts and setting up a savings account that will be used later for education, prom, future wedding, etc.; buying experience gifts like zoo memberships, science museum tickets, etc.; or by picking a charity and collecting gifts for them.
But, if those options aren’t what you have in mind and you still wish to participate in gift-giving, here’s a friendly reminder—be mindful of what you are giving, and when in doubt, ask for permission from the parents first. Below are seven gift-giving tips for grandkids offered from grandparents.com.
- Never give loud gifts: This includes those tempting drum sets, stuffed animals that talk repeatedly and those infuriating tech electronics.
- Never give large gifts: Those gifts often will get you blamed when families are living in limited spaces.
- Never give luxurious gifts: It’s been proven to make everyone involved uncomfortable, because often times the child will not appreciate the money that was spent on it or understand how he or she needs to take care of it in the manner the gift giver expects.
- Never give top-of-the-list gifts: Often times, parents try to give their children the No.1 gift on their list. Purchasing the most important gift can spoil the season for mom and dad.
- Never give age-inappropriate gifts: We always want to consider what is safe for the child, and especially if there are younger siblings involved, too.
- Never give parents-required gifts: This can be stressful for the parents, especially when they already have a busy schedule.
- Never give collectible gifts: Kids want to play with the gift, which can lead to them being disappointed if it breaks.
So, this holiday season, I challenge you to think about the choices you are making as you are shopping for gifts to give. Because, what you might think is harmless now, could potentially lead to greater problems 15 to 20 years from now.
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